Hi, I'm THE Will Wright and I'm honoured to your designated host for Sim Brother although I assure you I am more handsome than the Sim you have to represent me.
Welcome to the fourth series of "Sim Brother" to be run at The Sims Zone. We have a brand new house this year, situated in the neighborhood of Regras Gorge on the outskirts of SimCity. With our celebrity housemates from three different continents and famous for different things, we hope to have a varied mix and a lot of entertainment ahead of us.
Without my going on any more about it, let us go over to the house to meet the housemates as they arrive and see what they have been up to on their first day.
Enter The Housemates
3.00pm - The first housemate to pull up outside and enter the Sim Brother house is Steve.
Steve has made a name for himself as TV presenter and human star of wildlife programs. He has travelled around the world looking at different parts of the world's wildlife, but is most remembered for his experience with crocodiles in his native Australia.
"G'day, I'm Steve. I'm here to make the Sim Brother house as wild as some of the animals I've come across. Perhaps I could even tame some of the creatures I'll meet in there or perhaps wrestle with a human crocodile. Let's enjoy the ride."
3.15pm - The second housemate to arrive at the Sim Brother house is Tiger.
Tiger is a successful professional golfer and at the age of 21, became the youngest Masters champ and the first golfer since 1976 to win in the first major he played. He is also the first African American and Asian American (his mother is from Thailand) to win a major.
"Hi there. If I said I wasn't here to win, I would by lying to you. As well as an experience, I see Sim Brother as a challenge and I intend to play this game to the best of my ability for my wife and my family."
3.30pm - The third housemate has pulled strings to be driven to the house in one of his collection of Humvees. The third housemate is Arnold.
Arnold was born in Austria. Originally a body builder, he made his name as an actor in "action hero" roles. His most famous role is in the Terminator trilogy. In recent years, however, he has moved into politics and is now the State Governor for California.
"I am going to knock out the competition. I am here to win Sim Bruder 4 for me, my family, my state, my home country and the United States of Simerica. Do not vote me out as if you do, you know one thing for certain ..."
"I'll be back."
3.45pm - The fourth housemate to arrive is John.
John is a British actor and writer, most famous for being part of the Monty Python team and as the eccentric hotelier in "Fawlty Towers". He has also appeared in several movies, TV commercials, business training videos and now lives in California.
"Hello, I'm John. I don't expect to win but I certainly don't want to be the first one out of the house either. I want to enjoy my time, meet new people and find the inspiration to do something new with my life."
4.00pm - The fifth housemate and first of the girls is Bjork.
Bjork is a musician and actress from Iceland. In August 2004, she composed and sang "Oceania" for the Opening Ceremony of the Olympic Games in Athens. Famous as being an unofficial ambassador for Iceland, she was given an island by the Icelandic government. With her elf-like looks, she has been known to be nervous and irritable around cameras.
"Hello, I am here to overcome my anxiety about cameras. I am also here because it's so quiet (ssshh) in my real world right now.I would not mind winning the show but I would not be so sad if I did not but I hope you will keep me in a long time. It will give me more time to come up with inspiration for my next album."
4.15pm - The sixth housemate to pull up outside and enter the house is Alyssa.
Alyssa is a Sagittarius and is an actress, who is most remembered for her role in the TV-series "Charmed". She has also been a model and earlier in her career played the daughter to Arnold Schwarzenegger in "Commando".
"I am looking forward to being part of the Sim Brother experience and although I would not object to winning, it is the taking part and getting to meet different people in a unique environment that matters the most to me."
4.30pm - The seven housemate to arrive at the Sim Brother house is Condoleezza.
Condoleezza is the first African American woman to hold the position of Secretary of State and before then, she was the President's National Security adviser. She has also been Director of Chevron Oil, provost for Stanford University and many other talents.
"I am in the Sim Brother house for the experience and to have the opportunity to further my other talents with my fellow housemates. I do not want to be the first housemate to be evicted but winning the show would be something I would find to be a bonus."
4.45pm - The last arrival is up driven to the house in a police car. The eighth housemate is Martha.
Martha is famous to American TV viewers for her "living" series. She is famous worldwide for being convicted and spending time in prison for various felonies related to her stock market dealings. A lesser known fact about her is that she has been a licensed Wall Street stockbroker since 1968.
"Hello, I was going to thank the State Parole Board for allowing an exception to my 'house arrest' terms. However, I did not expect those terms to mean that I have become part of this show. Nevertless. as I have no choice now, I look forward to seeing how I can make the house a nicer place to live in and somehow help my fellow housemates in living the Sim Brother life."
5.12pm - The housemates appear to have naturally divided themselves up into pairs and are introducing themselves.
John - Hello, I'm John. I'm from England but I now live in California.
Condoleezza - You were one of the Pythons, yes?
John - Yes, but I have done a lot of other things too.
Alyssa is admiring Martha's choice of outfit.
Alyssa - I like your outfit.
Martha - Thanks. I think orange is THE colour that everyone should be wearing. I've worn nothing other for the last few months.
Arnold makes out he can beat Tiger at his own game.
Arnold - When we get out of here, I must take you for a round of golf. I've been told I'm quite good.
Tiger - I think I might be better. Would you like me to give you a handicap?
Arnold - If you cut off my hand, I'll cut off your head !!
Tiger - I didn't quite mean in that way.
Bjork has been telling Steve a joke from her homeland.
Bjork - I think it loses something in the translation.
Steve - That one is almost as bad as the one about the jumbuck, the drongo and the cane toad.
Bjork - Excuse me?
Steve - That also loses something in the translation.
After The Sun Went Down
6.00pm - The Sim Brother house is surrounded by security lights that are programmed to turn on an hour before the sun goes down.
7.48pm - After the sun went down, the pool lights went on and Steve became the first housemate to jump in the U-shaped pool and have a swim.
Steve - It's lovely and warm in here. Isn't anyone else going to join me?
Sim Brother (A) - All housemates will assemble and be seated in the covered forum that is in the center of the compound.
Steve - Awww, I was just getting into my stride in here.
8.00pm - The housemates have all taken a seat in the central forum.
John - I can't help wondering what that mosaic design in the center of this forum is supposed to be.
Steve - From where I'm sat, John, it looks like one of those abstract signs for swimming. I've seen them near Bondi beach as well as a few Bondi cigars.
Arnold - I like cigars a lot.
Steve - I don't think you'd like this sort, mate.
Alyssa - Could the mosaic be an abstract version of the Sim Brother eye?
The housemates were interrupted in their artistic appraisal.
Sim Brother (A) - This is Sim Brother. Welcome to the house. Sim Brother hopes your stay here will be a pleasant one and that when you go through the gate, you will leave with recollections of a time well spent.
- Until further notice, inside this compound, every area is accessible. If there is anything you would like to know about where things are and how things work, Sim Brother will be pleased to answer you.
- This will be an experience like no other. Facilities are limited at the moment and they are that way for a reason. Sim Brother hopes you can work together to find out what you most need. Do not view Sim Brother as your enemy. Instead, Sim Brother could even be your best friend.
- You are individuals but you are also a group and this is your home for all eight of you. Tomorrow, you will start to mould this house into your own. As in the outside world, you will be expected to work and there will be challenges and tasks over the coming 50 days to test you and see if you are up to it.
- Tonight, your needs will be catered for. In the main block, you have been provided with a buffet, punch keg, bottles of champagne and a bar.
- Enjoy your night.
Their First Evening
8.35pm - Tiring of the group conversation, Martha is the first one to get up and go into the kitchen block to see what Sim Brother has laid out for them. The fruit punch and bar caught her attention first before seeing what the buffet had for them.
9.39pm - Apart from Martha, all of the remaining housemates are still in the forum chatting about their interests.
John - I haven't really followed golf in a long time. What keeps you in the game?
Tiger - The money is a good incentive, but really I just love to play.
Arnie tries to flex his verbal muscles with Steve.
Arnie - You and I must have a challenge to see who is the fittest.
Steve - Whatever turns you on, mate. If Sim Bruv can get bring in a couple of crocodiles, I'd be happy to take you on.
Arnie went quiet.
Condoleezza is inquiring of Bjork about her style of music.
Condoleezza - I don't think I have heard any of your music.
Bjork - I could sing for you all sometime while I am in the house.
Condoleezza - That would be nice. If our music is compatible, I hope I can get to accompany you.
Bjork - Do you play bass guitar or drums?
Condoleezza - That isn't quite what I had in mind.
10.25pm-Steve ambles into the kitchen block looking for some food.
Steve - What tucker has Sim Brother done for us?
Martha - If you mean food, there is turkey, salad and a jelly.
Steve - Great, I'm going to bog in.
Martha - The turkey is a a bit drier than I would have liked.
Steve - Do you cook yourself?
Martha - Do I cook? Is water wet?
10.45pm- On her way to the bedroom block to use the bathroom, Martha passes the others still chatting in the covered forum.
Martha - Everybody, there is food and drink laid out in the kitchen block. It won't stay good forever.
Alyssa - Thankyou, Martha. I'll be right there.
10.54pm - Alyssa is good to her word and is soon helping herself to a plate of salad from the buffet.
11.12pm - The salad gives her a thirst and she helps herself to some punch from the tap.
11.25pm - All of the girls are in the kitchen helping themselves to the buffet. Bjork doesn't say anything but she seems to be disconcerted with Condoleezza's eating habits. Alyssa is a little bit wobbly on her feet.
Alyssa - If you'll excuse me, I think I might go and sit down.
Martha - Sure, hon. I think I am going to try and encourage the guys to get in here. I also have something for one of them. I want to bring him down a bit.
11.55pm - Arnold and John are talking in the garden when Martha ambushes Arnold with a waterbomb.
Martha - Ha !! I've got you.
Arnold - Hey, that wasn't called for. I'll make sure I get you for that, Martha :(
Martha - It was just a bit of fun and well worth it. Now come eat before it goes off.
The End of the Day
As the first day of Sim Brother 4 turns into the second day, we leave most of the housemates in the kitchen block enjoying the food and drink that Sim Brother has provided for them. We have seen introductions, we have seen discussions, we have even seen some dissent between housemates. However, things can change and tomorrow could change everything.
Behind The Camera
I would like to thank two people in particular for helping to make the start of our fourth season so unique among "Sim Brother"s.
Thankyou to ChEeTaH, my boss and good friend and without whom "Sim Brother" at TSZ would never have seen the light of day, for remembering something I asked in a part joking manner before he went to the Simposium in San Francisco earlier in the year.
Thankyou to THE Will Wright, without whom we would not have "The Sims 2" and "SimCity" from among his many creations, for being such a good sport by reading out what ChEeTaH asked you to and allowing it to be recorded for our series.
If you are reading this, Will, I hope you enjoy the show and yes, I'm the one who did the sim who represents you.