Previously in SB4
Hi, I'm Dr.Phil and I'm here today on an errand of mercy. Is Condoleezza going insane? Well, that's for me to find out. Also, I'll be looking at what the housemates want, taking a trip to see Zoltan and then leave you to your usual overview of what the housemates have been up to.
Let's do it!
SB & SB - Sim Brother & Social Bunnies
When I heard Condoleezza was claiming she was seeing an invisible one-eyed rabbit, my heart went out to her. If it hadn't been Condi, it could have been any of the other remaining six housemates. It is not unusual for one person to be very lonely when confined in a small area with seven relative strangers.
When that happens, it is not unknown for creatures from a different plane of existance to come down to the sim world and help out needy citizens with deprived social needs. Apart from butterflies and cockroaches, the simworld is devoid of any other natural life. Frequently, to try and relax the person they make themselves visible to, they try take the form of rabbits, last seen in the simworld over 25 years ago.
These creatures are usually only visible to those who they are visiting and the afflicted can interact with them in any way. The negative effect is that the person who sees them thinks may think that they are going insane. Condoleezza is no exception.
As always, I was very confident on knowing what the problem was. So I immediately got onto one of the guys in the production room who muttered something like As if I don't have enough to do when I told him to run through all of yesterday's footage involving Condoleezza again but to run it through a spectral enhancement filter. Well, he did it by running a patented AT-SB4 nightvision filter and applying a 5% frequency variation and got this footage you are now seeing.
It's official. Condoleezza is not insane. Why? Because I say so and the footage proves it.
Just to let Condoleezza know that she is not on the next flight to meet the Head of State of La-La-Land, I went to visit her in the diary room.
Dr. Phil - Hi there, Condi. Firstly, yes, I'm real. I'm not just the voice you've been hearing. It has come to my attention that you think you're going nuts, girl.
Condoleezza - I'm seeing things that nobody else can see, Dr.Phil. Can you help me?
Dr. Phil - Firstly, do they look like bunny rabbits?
Condoleezza - Yes, they do.
Dr. Phil (pointing to the plasma screen) - And do they look like this?
Condoleezza (smiling) - You can see them too?
Dr. Phil - Only by using a special feature on our footage. Condi, you are not insane. You're just a bit depressed and need to get some people make a fuss of you.
Condoleezza - Dr.Phil, you don't know how happy this makes me.
Dr. Phil - So there you have it. Also, If you don't want this embarrassing situation again, just make sure you get involved with the rest of the people here. However, although we can't see it, why not make the most of your social bunny while you are in here. It's here to help you.
- While Condi is seeing to her social bunny, it's time for my weekly profile on the housemates.
What They Want
Using a combination of dream analysis and conversational reassassment analytical programming (CRAP) techniques, we have been able to collate the wants of the housemates as individuals and to postulate scenarios to benefit them as a group.
Alyssa's primary needs are relating to her stomach. She has a craving for pancakes and omelettes. She also wants to fall in love and somewhere along life's highway become best friends with Bjork. Perhaps the first three can happen in the house, but no way can the latter without her getting out of the door.
Arnie's focus is John. Perhaps due to recent disagreements or wanting a role in "Hamlet II", he wants to tell John how much he appreciates him and also have a chat with him. Arnie also wants to talk with Steve. Perhaps wanting to dispel his feeling of Steve being a "nancy boy"? His other want is to meet someone new. Well, that can't happen unless he's out of the house or someone breaks in.
Condi would like a cellphone. With it, she'd probably use it to invite Bjork over. If Bjork brought a friend, she'd also get to meet someone new. All in all, that might make five best friends and be one very happy person ... if only she had a cellphone. Well, this is Sim Brother and she ain't getting one. Why doesn't this girl want omelettes?
John is money-motivated. He'd like to make some money and ideally make a minimum of §100. He'd also like a cellphone but at the least, he'd get some satisfaction from having omelettes for breakfast and probably be quite contented with that.
Martha would like omelettes or pancakes. Perhaps with marmalade on top. Well, considering yesterday's runs, perhaps not. She would also like an expensive computer worth at least §2,000. Perhaps she can find out how her share portfolio has been doing and see if she's made some money.
Steve wants omelettes. His other wants are all about learning about this part of the world of which he is currently a native. He wants to understand more about the galaxy above him and how to cook from the raw materials that are available. Well, with the telescope, he's well on his way.
Tiger also wants to look more to the stars. He also wants to fall in love. Such a shame he and Alyssa don't get on. He also wants to become best friends with Martha and also with Judge Doug Jones. Please don't ask me how he met him, but he did in a different life.
As half of the house want omelettes, I think we know what should be for breakfast. The other needs are quite widespread and some are impossible. However, a task that in some way would help the housemates make money should please Martha and John. Sim Brother, are you reading this?
With finding out what the housemates want, let's visit Zoltan for his cryptic tips on who you the viewers seem to want out.
Out Of The House
Again, I've taken the opportunity to take a trip to see Zoltan from Simbrokes to get his inside track on where major money is going.
Sim Brother (P) - Zoltan, thanks for seeing us again. Are you going to tell us about the betting patterns in your own cryptic way at this stage?
Zoltan - But of course. Again, we have a two horse race with one housemate already having a 7% edge over his nearest rival. If the betting continues in this way for the next day, the lead horse looks as though he will be through that gate before the voting is even over.
SB - What do you reckon caused that to happen?
Zoltan (shrugs) - It is very surprising. According to the first eviction betting, these three are all quite popular as housemates. Perhaps the leader is expected to go as he has outlived his "shelf life". He has EVENS odds, the second place mare has odds of 2-1 and the third place was yesterday at 4-1 and is today on 5-1. However, with the eviction voting not even being half over, anything could happen.
SB - Are there any dark horses?
Zoltan - Dark horses? That sounds a bit racist to me.
SB (stumbling) - Ermm ... well ... I didn't mean it like that. Is there anything else you'd like to tell us about?
Zoltan - Well, my relationship with Ivy Copur isn't going too well. It just doesn't seem to be working in the woohoo department. Can you help me, Dr.Phil?
SB - Ermm ... no. Not on Sim Brother's time.
SB - Let us now go to the Sim Brother house and see what else has been going on.
2.50am - Arnold has come to the Diary Room.
Sim Brother (C) - Good morning, Arnold. And how are you?
Arnold - I cannot sleep.
SB - Is something troubling you?
Arnold - In being up for nomination, I realise that the fun is over.
SB - How do you mean?
Arnold - When Bjork left, it was hard. I did not really know her but with her being evicted, it got me thinking.
SB (aside) - That's a first.
Arnold - It made me think the audience does not like people not from Simerica.
SB - And your point is?
Arnold - I am only a naturalised Simerican. I love Simerica. It has made me what I am. I love my country more than some of the nancy boys and girlie-girls. I do not want to be voted off because I am not Simerican.
SB - Arnold, have you followed any previous series of Sim Brother?
Arnold - No. I have been too busy making movies, fighting on-screen anti-Simericans and becoming a world famous politician.
SB - So far, there has not been a Simerican winner. Perhaps that says something about the audience.
Arnold - So I am just getting eviction jitters?
SB - Perhaps. There is nothing stopping them voting you out for being a "whining nancy boy".
Arnold - I AM NOT A WHINING NANCY BOY.
SB - That's a bit better. So what is the worst you feel you can be?
Arnold - The worst I can be is the same as everybody else. I hate that.
SB - Then get yourself out of here and be different. If you do get evicted, at least you have done it your way.
Arnold - Thankyou, Sim Bruder.
SB - Sim Brother hopes you are feeling better and sleep well.
Arnold - If I cannot get to sleep ... I'll be back.
SB (aside) - Why did I know he was going to say that? I hope he has a shower before he goes back to bed.
Omelettes & Muscles
9.28am - It is a new day in the house. Apparently, the housemates were acting on their wants as Martha is cooking pancakes for the house.
Martha (muttering)- These would taste a lot better if they-
All of the guys - YES, WE KNOW
10.09am - All of the guys are eating the pancakes that Martha has prepared.
Tiger - Martha, these are delicious. What is your secret?
Martha - Two teaspoons of care and a pinch of love.
Arnie (muttering) - That is sooo girlie-girl
11.12am - Arnie appears a lot more relaxed than earlier. He is dancing with John to 'Tubthumping' by Chumbawumba that Sim Brother has coming out of the speakers.
Arnold - Hey, John, feel my rippling muscles.
John - Arnold, this is not a boarding school, you are not my head of house, I am not that way inclined. They do look impressive though.
Arnold - Did you know I won Mr.Olympia seven times?
John - No, I didn't ... but do I look bothered?
3.18pm - The housemates are all working hard on their respective paintings. Although the work looks somewhat routine, the housemates asked that their half-finished work not be shown close-up as they do not want their creative juices to be stemmed.
11.21pm - Several of the housemates have taken early nights. After their respective sessions in the diary room, both Arnie and Condi seem to be a lot more relaxed and are dancing together to "The Best Hits of the Ovalteenies".
Even with using the special filters, there is no further sign of Condi's invisible friend. Neither of them have much to say. They seem more concerned with the music and making the most of the moment.
To Be Continued
And that is where we are going to have to leave it. Tomorrow, the housemates have to prepare pictures for an exhibition. Have they learnt enough and do they have enough time to produce finished results of quality?