Welcome to Martha's Night
She is the final eviction poll. She's been in there from the beginning. She started to cause controversy from the beginning with her love of marmalade. She has faced the public vote three times and escaped to live for another week. This third time, she wasn't so lucky. Mad Martha, Marmalade Martha or more commonly known to the viewing Simerican public as Martha Stewart is leaving the Sim Brother house to join me in the studio for her eviction night special.
Firstly, let us look at her last few minutes in the house.
Martha's Last Minutes
Sim Brother (A) - Martha, please leave the Sim Brother house.
With bottles of Simpagne, the housemates have toasted Martha before she left and gathered outside under the covered forum to see her as she took the walk out of the gate and out of the compound and walked over to the studio.
Welcome Out, Martha
Will Wright - Martha, I have rehearsed this interview several times but you've always managed to avoid having to make the walk several times. Finally, I get the chance to meet you and I I just wish it could have been in different circumstances.
Martha - That's very kind of you to say, Will.
Will Wright - I have to ask this question and I think you know it will be the first one. How does it feel being evicted from the Sim Brother 4 house?
Martha - Actually, Will, I'm very disappointed. I was starting to enjoy myself in there. I felt I was starting to make my mark.
Will Wright - Firstly, on behalf of Sim Brother, we have to make an apology. You know the housemates voted for one person to be evicted. Well, there wasn't a tie. Alyssa got the housemates' vote and Sim Brother put in a strong candidate to go against them.
Martha - Could you put that in English?
WW - Your nomination was a Sim Brother appointment and for a while, it did look like you could have pulled it off and stayed in there into the final three. What do you think you did or why do you feel Alyssa is in there and you are not?
Martha - You certainly believe in shooting from the hip. For one, I admit I call a spade a spade and if someone is annoying me, I can tell them where to put it. I am not as young as I used to be. I think I might be old enough to be Alyssa's mother. I have several explanations for why I am here.
WW - This could be a long interview. Make yourself comfortable, viewers.
Martha - You hush yourself, Will. Firstly, it is an age and beauty issue. From demographic research and analysis of the epidemiology of fans of Sim Brother, Big Brother and other reality TV shows, they are in general fairly young, they are more likely to vote to keep the younger, more attractive housemates in the house.
WW - That's not impossible. We haven't ourselves carried out an analysis, though.
Martha - Secondly, it is a case of "Housewives' Revenge". People have watched my show and as they've tried to do what I can do with ease and not succeeded, they have had the chance to get some payback and voted me out.
WW (nods) - I can identify with that.
Martha - Thirdly, I was a bitch and spoke my mind and a lot of people might not like that. I don't think I was very endearing when I was a prison warder either.
WW - What matters is that you are here now and I hope you don't feel so badly about it.
Foes and Friends
Will Wright - Of those who you have met through Sim Brother 4, who will not be on your greetings card list?
Martha (laughing) - Arnold, most definitely. I found him boorish and pig-headed with no taste. I don't think I would be adding Condoleezza, Tiger or Alyssa to that list either.
Will Wright - That is quite a lot. Was there anyone in the house who you did like and would add to your list?
Martha - I think I got on the best with Steve and also with John. They are both very funny guys.
Will Wright - We noticed some affection between you and John. Is there anything you'd like to add about that?
Martha - I wish he'd added something. Seriously, we were more like good friends, although he was a good hugger. He made me feel good.
Will Wright - If you'd stayed in the house any longer, do you reckon it could have gone further?
Martha (enigmatic smile) - Perhaps. I'm not saying I would object if he had tried anything else.
Best And Worst
Will Wright - What do you reckon were your worst moments in the house?
Martha - Definitely leaving the house. I must admit I did not want to leave. I did feel upset in the early days not to be wanted on people's teams when we were divided up for something. It made me feel very unwelcome. Although I enjoyed being a prison warder, I did find it hard especially when two of my friends were inmates.
Will Wright - What do you reckon were your best moments in the house?
Martha - I can't really say I had best moments, Will. I enjoyed so much of it all. The karaoke task, being a prison warder as I said, also broadcasting on "Good Morning, Simerica". The most recent thing that I really enjoyed was being foster mother to Erin. She was such a cutie and I hope it isn't the last I hear of her.
Will Wright - What do you feel you got from being in the Sim Brother house?
Martha - I feel I have made a few good friends. I feel I have become more trusting and tolerant of other people's imperfections.
Will Wright - Now the viewers have the chance to vote for the winner, who would you be casting your votes for?
Martha - It's a tough one. I would like to see John win but I think Steve will win. They are both really nice guys and both made my stay in the house a lot more pleasant. They both did a lot in the house for me and the other housemates to make Sim Brother 4 a pleasurable experience.
Will Wright - What do you reckon is next for Martha Stewart?
Martha - I presume my black and white limousine is waiting. I'm going back to my estate where I have to stay but where I get to admit and kick out who I want. I do have a show lined up in the Fall, based on an idea by Ronald Frump.
Will Wright - Thankyou for the entertainment, recipes and fun you have given us over the last six weeks.
Martha - I only wish I could have entertained you all for longer.
To Be Continued
Thankyou for joining us for our final regular eviction and we hope you enjoyed the show.
Tomorrow, the nightly show will be back at the usual time. The three remaining housemates will find out what their last task is going to be. Also, the poll is now open for who you wish to be the winner of Sim Brother 4.