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Sim Brother Series 4, Day 25 (Monday 2 May 2005)
Half Way Point
Previously in SB4

Sim Brother Penitentiary is being run by prison officers nicknamed "Mad Martha" and "Turncoat Tiger". Prisoner Rice's attempted insurrection against the regime did not get the support of her fellow inmates and instead resulted in her visiting Room 101 and undergoing some "corrective therapy" to counter her being "unmutual"

With this being the last day of the task, will the prison officers be able to maintain order to ensure that the task is a accomplished successfully?

The Beginning of Something More?

6.47am - Prisoners Irwin and Milano are already awake and are trying their best to be quiet while having a pillow fight. Prisoner Cleese, however, has also been woken up.
6.59am - Impulsively, Prisoner Milano jumps into Prisoner Irwin's arms, who willingly holds her there.
Milano - I've been waiting for a moment like this.
Irwin - I never expect this to happen either.

Being mutual or acting?

7.44am - The inmates have just been released from their nightly lockdown and Officer Stewart has opened the servery. Prisoner Rice is quiet this morning and not making any comment about an insurrection or revolt ... yet. However, she is continuing with the painting that she left from two days ago.

Trusty Cleese & The Dissent

8.00am - The inmates are cleaning up their breakfast plates. From the speakers on the wall came the voice of the Governor.
The Governor - Good morning, inmates.
Inmates - Good morning, Governor.
TG - Prisoner Cleese, you are to be extended the privileges of "trusty". Your behaviour has been rated as exemplary by the prison officers.
Cleese - Do I have to take it? I'd rather someone else had it.
TG - This position is non-transferable and not optional. A green uniform is available for you to wear as a sign of your new trusted position. Please change into it at your earliest convenience ... and congratulations.

8.17am - The other inmates are talking about Prisoner Cleese's new position.
Rice - I don't know what they did with my mind last night apart from put a bit more a natural bounce in my hair. This is just going to stack the odds against us.
Milano - How do you mean?
Rice - Didn't you study math at school or were you just a beauty queen? Before, there were four of us and two of them. Now there are three of us and two of them. They've balanced the odds out. Now they can do what they want with us. Unless we make a stand now, we will have no chance.
Milano - Condi, just lighten up. It's going to be over at the end of the day.

Early Doubts

10.39am - Trusty Cleese has come to the Governor's office.
Cleese - Good morning, Governor.
The Governor - Good morning, John. And what can I do for you?
Cleese - I don't understand what my role entails ... apart from being called by my first name. Nor do I understand why I was given it. I'm just a old fuddy duddy. What does it mean?
TG - You will help the Prison Officers with their work in ensuring the smooth running of this facility. The extent of your privileges depends upon them. You will also directly benefit from the success of this task and have a greater share of any profits.
Cleese - I don't want a greater share. I don't really like the uniform. I preferred the orange one, and that doesn't have anything to do with my penchant for breakfast marmalade.
TG - Let me make this clear. When you entered this facility, you waived all rights to what you receive from the authorities. If you require reminding of this, I am sure that the prison officers can escort you to the therapy call.
Cleese - As you put it that way, who am I to complain? Also, this is only for another 10 hours. Have a good day, Governor. Does your screen need polishing, by the way?
TG - No thankyou. Have a good day, John.
Cleese - Good day, Governor.

Missing England ... NOT

2.29pm - The newly promoted Trusty Cleese is in the garden trimming the hedges with Prisoner Milano.
Cleese - Oh to be in England now that April's here.
Milano (offscreen to the left) - I might not be as bright as the secretary of state, John, but isn't it May already?
He thinks for a few moments.
Cleese - You're exactly right. I didn't realise. If I'm not mistaken, I will have missed the World Professional Snooker Championships, the Royal Wedding - which I wasn't invited to but that upstart Rowan Atkinson was - and the TV series "Hell's Kitchen".
Milano - I'm sure being in Martha's kitchen here has made up for the last one.
Cleese - Most definitely.
Milano - Do you miss being in England?
Cleese - I miss cricket matches and I miss Wimbledon. I don't miss the weather. At my age, I want to wake up and see sunshine pouring in through the windows every day. Weather in California is so much better than Weston-Super-Mare. And American women. In Britain, girls seem to be either bright or attractive. In America, that's not the case. They're both.
Milano - May I ask when you last had your eyes tested?

The voice of Officer Stewart comes out over the tannoy.

Stewart - All inmates must go to the association area for your exercise program.
Cleese - Thank goodness it is not a cooking lesson.

Let's Get Physical

4.00pm - The inmates are gathered as instructed in the association area.

The voice of Officer Stewart comes over the tannoy.
Stewart - As part of your rehabilitation, you need to be physically fit. You have two hours of aerobics.
Milano (pleased) - That's great. My favourite.
Stewart - Please sort out your own exercise regime, but you must all keep going for two hours.
Milano - Perhaps that's not so great.
Stewart - Only one of you can fail this. More than one and the entire task is a failure. We hope you enjoy the selection of music provided for you. Some tracks are easier to exercise to than others. However, the prison authorities trust that you will do your best.

6.00pm - The hi-fi started of its own accord and the task begins. Over the next two hours the inmates were subject to albums ranging from Tony Christie and ABBA to the K-Os and the Brighouse & Rastrick Brass Band. Trusty Cleese was the one who faltered but the other inmates including Rice kept going.

Stewart - Your exercise program is now concluded. Thankyou for your cooperation with the prison authorities in this. Please remain in the association area until further notice. Easy listening music is made available for your enjoyment and the servery is open.
Irwin - That "crab in a bucket" has made me hungry.
Milano - I'm completely exhausted, but I know I want to add that brass band to my collection of tapes. Floral Dance really got me moving.
Rice - You might want to rethink that. When I get out of here, I'm going to do what I can to have aerobics criminalised.

Release and Reward

6.30pm - The sun is just starting to go down.
Sim Brother (C) - Good evening, housemates. This is Sim Brother. There are no more officers, there are no more inmates. Your task is now over. You may now change out of the prison uniforms and underwear that you have been made to wear.
Steve - Hallelujah!!
Condoleezza - I never thought I'd be so glad to hear that voice again.
SB - Sim Brother also congratulates you for making it half way through this series. For your benefit, a party has been arranged and this will be held in the new function room. This is located where the open forum used to be. The theme is 70s and 80s. On the plasma screen, you will be shown episodes of the A-Team, Dallas & Dynasty. A selection of costumes and wigs have been made available for you to choose from. Feel free to dress in character either from the shows or the general era.
All - Thankyou, Sim Brother.

Let's Go Retro

7.39pm - The housemates have all got changed into outfits appropriate to the time. John has dressed as J.R.Ewing from "Dallas", Alyssa has donned a blonde wig and flowing gown to be Krystle Carrington from "Dynasty". Condoleezza and Martha have just dressed in period outfits. Tiger is dressed as B.A.Baracus and Steve is dressed as Colonel Hannibal Smith both from "The A-Team", which is now showing on the plasma screen. Both of them seem to be getting into character.
Steve - I love it when a plan comes together.
Tiger - I pity the fool who thinks he can beat me at golf.

8.21pm - Alyssa and Steve are cuddling on the couch and getting closer. Martha is sat on her own watching the plasma screen. John, Condoleezza and Tiger are blowing bubbles.
John - Mmmm .... "Fairy Liquid" for A-Grade bubble blowing. They've pushed the boat out for us here.
Tiger (floating) - Don't drink and drive, blow bubbles and FLY.

Unexpected Results

11.55pm - The housemates are relaxing in the lounge as the party is winding down. They are all in quite good spirits and Alyssa and Steve appear to have had a good evening especially.

Sim Brother (C) - Good evening, housemates.
Housemates - Hey, Sim Brother.
SB - Since the eviction poll closed, we have been running a poll on the quality of your artwork. You all got at least one vote. Because the votes for the individual paintings were more than 25% apart in some cases, you have failed the art task. You will only be eating mush for the remainder of the week.
Martha - That's not fair.
Alyssa - I did my very best with that picture.
SB - Here are the results of the prison task.
Irwin - This I want to hear.
SB - On the first day, your task was to clean the compound and the bathroom. Passed.
Housemates - YAY !!!
SB - On the second day, your task was to print enough money to fund the prison. Passed.
Housemates - YAY !!!
SB - On the third day, your task was to do two hours of aerobics. Passed.
Housemates - YAY !!!
SB - On the first day, Condoleezza had a bath instead of cleaning it. One infraction. Passed.
Housemates - YAY !!!
SB - On the second day, Condoleezza did not work on the task and required punitive treatment. Failed.
Alyssa - Condi, why did you have to make so many waves?
Martha - Ssshhhh.
SB - On the third day, all housemates were compliant to the rules of the prison. Passed.
Housemates - YAY ???
SB - You are allowed one failure. The prison officers were successful in running the prison. They have passed this task.
Steve - Eh?
Alyssa - I don't understand.
Condoleezza - I knew it, and I think I know what is coming.
SB - This week, the following people are up for eviction from the Sim Brother house.

  • Alyssa
  • Condoleezza
  • Steve

    Goodnight, housemates.

  • To Be Continued

    And we are going to leave them there before things get ugly. The polls are now open for you to nominate one of the three for eviction.

    How will the nominees react now that they knows that their hard work has only resulted in them facing the public vote?

    Tune in tomorrow and find out.


    << Day 24: Money, Fire & Therapy Day 26: Recrimination, Romance and Racks of Balls >>

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