It's Day 2 in the Sim Brother house. Yesterday, eight new housemates were airlanded in the garden to begin the 5th series at TSZ of Sim Brother. It is now the beginning of their first full day in the house.
6:59am - Hilary is the first housemate awake. All of the other housemates are still asleep in the bedroom apart from Snoop who slept on one of the couches in the lounge.
Hilary comes into the living room to find flies gathering around the buffet, which she does not find appealing. After cleaning it up, she comes to the diary room.
Sim Brother (HM) - Good morning, Hilary.
Hilary - Hi, Sim Brother. Look, I don't mean to complain but that buffet was a mess. It shouldn't be down to me to clean it up, but I did.
SB - Thankyou for cleaning it up, Hilary, and yes, it is down to the housemates to keep the house clean. The buffet, bottles and tables will be removed later today. Is there anything else?
Hilary - Erm ... no. I just thought-
SB - Thankyou, Hilary. The diary room door is open.
7.49am - Trisha and Harry are the next housemates awake. Trisha finds some toaster pastries for breakfast. Harry is looking for something to read.
Hilary comes out of the diary room and sits down on one of the stools. She tells Trisha about the flies around the buffet and about Sim Brother.
Hilary - I don't know who that lady is in there. She's quietly spoken, polite but very abrupt.
Trisha - That doesn't surprise me. We can't expect to have Sim Brother do everything for us.
Hilary - It was almost ... I don't know. Almost as if she thought she was the Queen of Simgland or something.
Harry - I'm pretty sure my grandma won't be in there. She doesn't trust the flunkies to look after her corgis for more than a day or so. It's probably someone who just thinks she's the Queen.
Director's Note: HM in this case does not stand for "Her Majesty".
8.28am - Gordon is preparing a large serving of mushroom omelettes for breakfast.
Gordon - I don't know about you lot but I slept like a light last night.
Trisha - I took some time to get to sleep. Someone was snoring quite loudly.
Hilary - I had that problem too.
Gordon - I must have been asleep before whoever it was.
10.51am - The housemates have enjoyed the omelettes Gordon served up. Snoop is still asleep on the couch. Mia and Britney are in the showers.
Mia - These showers seem more spacious than they are. Do they really need those big mirrors in here?
Britney - Sim Brother doesn't want to miss a thing.
Mia - It's a bit too "peeping tom" for my liking.
Sim Brother (HM) - This is Sim Brother. There is a meeting of the Sim Brother Corporation in the board room at 12 noon sharp. Everyone must attend in formal attire. Latecomers will not be admitted.
12.00pm - All of the housemates except Snoop are gathered in the boardroom and have dressed formally as requested.
Sim Brother (HM) - This is Sim Brother. The board meeting is now in session and the doors are locked. Sim Brother notices that there is an empty seat at the table.
Trisha - Snoop is still asleep. We did not want to wake him.
SB - Sim Brother reminds you that successful business management involves teamwork. You left a man behind. Your failure means your target is raised. You will be informed of the revised target after this meeting. Snoop will be informed of how his personal failure will affect him.
Harry - Discipline here is worse than with the "Reds & Regals".
SB - In front of one of you is a folder containing a set of instructions for this week's task. The person with that folder is immediately appointed as this week's project leader. That housemate will now conduct the rest of the meeting and then report to the diary room.
There is silence for a few moments.
Trisha - I've got it. Oh my. Housemates, a healthy body means a healthy mind. The project team will be provided with two assault courses. All members of the project team must improve their level of physical fitness to a minimum of the third level. The project leader must assign two trainers from among the team whose responsibility is to ensure that all team members reach this goal. A team member must have a trainer with them at all times. The task will be completed no later than 10pm on Monday. Ouch! This is hard. Mia, you have a sporting background, don't you?
Mia - I was on a couple of olympic soccer squads so I know what is involved. I am not as fit as I used to be but I know what I can do.
Trisha - Great. I'll put you down. Harry, you are familiar with assault courses. Will you be the second trainer?
Mia - I'll do my best.
Trisha - Thankyou, I can't ask for anything more.
Punishment for Snoop
12.48pm - Snoop has finally woken up. Trisha and the rest of the housemates are in the boardroom working out a strategy for how to complete the task.
SB - Will Snoop, please, come to the diary room?
Snoop - I stink. Ewwww. I'll pop in to see you after my shower. Yo! Where is everyone?
SB - Snoop, you will come to the diary room immediately.
Snoop - Ok, ok.
Snoop comes to the diary room.
SB - Hello, Snoop.
Snoop - Yo, Sim Brizzle.
SB - It is the duty of housemates to do as Sim Brother instructs. All of the housemates were told to be in a certain place at a certain time and in a certain mode of attire. You failed to do that.
Snoop - I was catching some zees.
SB - Your fellow housemates have been punished for their failure to wake you. You, however, are Black Tagged.
Snoop - Say what?
SB - In the event that the housemates fail the task, you will automatically face the public vote the following week.
Snoop - And if we pass?
SB - Your tag will be lifted and you may or may not be nominated by the normal procedure. Do you understand?
Snoop - Fo' shizzle.
SB - Thankyou, Snoop. You may now leave the Diary Room.
1.16pm - Trisha comes to the diary room. She tells Sim Brother who she has chosen as trainers. Sim Brother then informs her of the new target.
SB - Trisha, all of your team have to improve their level of physical fitness to four points instead of three. If you fail the task, you will automatically face the public vote. Snoop will also face the public vote if you fail. Also, you will have to publicly choose two people to also face the public vote with you.
Trisha - I understand and if we pass?
SB - Nominations will take place normally. Trisha, you are not allowed to tell housemates about this.
Trisha - You really know how to make me feel popular.
SB - Thankyou, Trisha. The door is open.
Dissent in the House
2.52pm - Sim Brother has replaced the helipad with two assault courses. Trisha is the first one to begin training with instruction from Mia. Harry is making himself a burger. Johnny, Hilary, Britney and Gordon are in the board room. They have told Snoop about the task.
Britney - Nothing was said about what happens if we pass and what happens if we fail.
Snoop - I'm out of the door, that's what happens.
Gordon - You've made it harder for all of us. I wonder if it is worth even trying to pass the ***ding task.
Johnny - We can at least try,
Hilary - It could be fun. I need to lose some weight ... so I'm told.
Trisha in Training
4.36pm - It is a bright, warm afternoon. Trisha has been training with Mia for almost two hours.
Mia - That's it. I think you have reached the necessary level required.do.
Trisha (hugging Mia) - Thankyou for helping me get through this.
Mia - You're welcome, honey. Thankyou for selecting me. I feel that I'm already being useful in the house and promoting what I am here for.
Trisha - You're certainly someone with a cause. Thanks, Mia.
The Right Woman for the Task
6.19pm - Mia is still on the assault course training Snoop. Trisha has come to the diary room and is lounged on the couch.
Sim Brother (HM) - Hello, Trisha. You look tired.
Trisha - I am. This is a harder task than I thought it might have been.
SB - Do you feel that as project leader that you are the right person for the job, Trisha?
Trisha - I did not have much of a choice. Next time, I will not sit at the chair with the folder in front of it. I am giving it my best. I just hope everyone else gives their best as well.
SB - Thankyou, Trisha. The door is open.
Trisha - I'm going to rest here a bit, if that's alright.
SB - It is, Trisha. Let Sim Brother know when you want to leave.
Snoop and Slackers
8.47pm - Snoop has just finished his training having reached the requirements set by Sim Brother. Harry and Hilary have come to the diary room.
Sim Brother (AT) - Good evening, and are you enjoying the task?
Harry - Erm ... well, I've got a bit sidetracked.
Hilary (giggles) - Can I start tomorrow?
SB - Housemates are expected to participate in all tasks. Sim Brother can take action against housemates who do not pull their weight. This can result in penalties for the house and withdrawl of certain luxuries.
Harry - The other Sim Brother never mentioned that.
SB - Harry, doesn't a soldier obey his commanding officer and carry out the orders and otherwise do what he can to achive the objective?
Harry - Yes, sir.
SB - Perhaps you would be best served talking to your team leader and co-trainer about this task. Enjoy the rest of your evening.
Intent to Improve
10.04pm - Gordon has cooked pork chops for dinner, with a French mustard-based marinade, served up with petit pois and baby carrots. Mia and Gordon have been talking about soccer, sharing their experiences as Gordon used to be a professional player before turning his passion to cooking. Harry has been cleaning the stove.
Harry - Mia, if you have time, could we train together tomorrow?
Mia - Sure, Harry. I'm a hard task master. Be warned.
Harry - Hopefully, we could learn from each other.
11.32pm - Johnny is playing pool on his own. Snoop and Britney are having a pillow fight.
Trisha is relaxing in the hot tub. She is not looking at the portrait wall. She does not need reminding what is at stake.